Talkback 84            April 2007

Talkback is a regular feature in laterlife.com run by journalist and author Helen Franks.    

Welcome to talkback 84      

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Grumble, grumble, grumble

Heard the one about the older couple queuing up to enrol in classes? When they got to the application desk, the class of their choice was full. The subject? How to open packets, cartons, jars, etc.

We (husband and I that is) are confounded by the problem of opening and closing the items when we bring home the shopping. It’s a problem that becomes worse and worse as we get older. We have difficulty with Cellophane wrappers, plastic discs on cartons, and we still haven’t fathomed how to open or close those packs of prunes and figs that we buy from Waitrose.

Why can’t they make opening and closing things simple? I opened a pack today that had transparent plastic round it, a lid that refused to budge, and then, when I had conquered that, there was a disc of cardboard over the top and, to add insult to injury, cotton wool inside the lid. I know that security is paramount and the idea is that items – particularly food - must not be tampered with, but there comes a point when convenience ought to be the priority.

I also object to those tiny labels stuck on individual fruits, that are so difficult to remove, especially when you have washed them. And items that come in the post wrapped in plastic create a challenge that I tackle with scissors, though it’s hit and miss whether they emerge intact.

Also, while I am in a grumbling mood, there are the public announcements that are always made when the train is either arriving or departing. We can never hear them, and have to make a guess at the message. Why do they do it at that precise moment? Is it sheer bad timing or ageist persecution?

And fashion! The currently fashionable clothes are either too short, too long, too sleeveless, too tight or reveal too much cleavage. Shoes are too high-heeled or too flat. The only bonus is the loose-fitting tunic top, which disguises waist and unsightly bulges but can make you look pregnant.

I have done with the grumbles, but if you have any to add I would would very much like to receive them.

Email me at helen@laterlife.com .
 

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