Talkback 87       September 2007

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TALKBACK by Helen Franks


Good and Bad Manners

And I don’t mean etiquette. I mean good and bad manners?

Thoughtfulness for others has gracious connotations. When my son said he didn’t know what to write about for a letter of condolence to a friend, I said she needs the compassion. Write what you feel.

The ability to write what you feel depends on all kinds of things: heartfelt sincerity, honesty, judicial tactfulness.

There is a distinction between etiquette and good manners. Etiquette requires you to go through the motions of politeness. For instance, how you behave at the table constitutes etiquette.

Philosopher A.C. Grayling makes a distinction between good manners and etiquette. He says, “Manners are central to the true morality, the lubricant of social relations.” Thoughtfulness is paramount in relation to good manners.

Do you willingly offer your seat to an elderly or disabled person? Do you say thank you and acknowledge a fellow driver who gives way for you?

If you do, you are good-mannered, and to quote A.C.Grayling once more, “…they offer the paradigm of what a well-mannered person should be.”


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