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Back home with the family
in later life

Much as we love our children, most of us don’t really want them back home with us when they are old enough to make their way in life, though of course we don’t usually refuse them… 

But what’s it like from the children’s point of view? Matthew Shawcross, back home at 29, continues his diary…   

 

This January I turned 30. Daunted by the magnitude of the occasion, I decide to stay at home and have a quiet nuclear dinner with Mother, Brothers and Girlfriend. (Father is off interpreting in Strasbourg.)  By the 22nd of January, the enormous pine tree is finally overthrown from its corner of the room, so we need to fill the place with life somehow.

Older Brother, not without a hint of complacency, quizzes me for my thoughts and feelings on entering the new decade. Everyone seems to react to it differently. Mother worries about when I will get back to doing a proper job. Older Brother is consoled and reassured. For Younger Brother and Girlfriend, both barely out of their teens, my reaching 30 is a source of great amusement.

As for me, I think of Alexander the Great, who had already conquered the known world and died, or of Schubert, who had probably written at least 500 of his 600 songs (not to mention the nine symphonies, fifteen string quartets and so on), before syphillis would carry him away the following year. I rack my brains for great men who started late and still lived with their mothers at 30. I see no pictures.  

Since the second round of chemotherapy was suspended, Mother has had more bad days than good. She's also been on a strictly vegan diet, as well as cutting out olive oil, and any food packaged in plastic or tins. Cooking for the rest of us can be something of a penance under these circumstances. So, for Christmas, Older Brother and I served up chestnut bourgignonne pie and galettes of potato and exotic mushrooms. And tonight, Older Brother is chef once again. On the menu, sea bass and beans for us, home-made potato and leek soup for Mother.  It’s therapeutic, this reversal of roles, providing nourishment instead of always being on the receiving end.  

Conversation turns to the surprising start of Younger Brother's career. Since leaving university he has shuttled between the job centre, the playstation and the recording studio, occasionally ringing round job agencies in a lacklustre fashion. The other day I spotted a couple of vacancies which looked up his street, and drew them to his attention.

 "Actually," he said, "I've got a job. I'm starting on Thursday." He is an Executive Assistant at the Royal Courts of Justice. On his fourth day in the job, though, he has come home with the flu. Mother worries that this will earn him instant dismissal. The rest of us are simply bewildered at the thought of Younger Brother, who after all only recently it seems could not read or write, taking minutes and advising on legal policy.  

I have come to the conclusion that being 30 is no great landmark after all. I have ten years till the next big one to write my symphonies and conquer my empires, rather than counting the vanishing days. Now where was that file of ideas for novels? . . .

Matthew has moved out of the family home and will not be continuing his diary for the present.

Read part one of Matthew`s Diary 

Read part two of Matthew`s Diary

    


 

laterlife interest

The above article is part of the features section of laterlife.com called laterlife interest. laterlife interest contains a variety of articles of interest for visitors to laterlife.com written by a number of experienced and new journalists.

It includes both one off articles and also regular columns of a more specialist nature such as healthwise, reports from the REACH files, and a beauty section called looking good in later life.

Also don't forget to take a look at our regular IT question and answer section called YoucandoIT by IT trainer and author Jackie Sherman.

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