I have discovered quite late in life that joking
as therapy wins hands down over tears. And it brings brownie points of the
‘isn’t she brave’ variety. Embarrassing sometimes, but better far than
allusions to my alleged stoicism. Thus I encouraged
daughter and small granddaughter who are familiar with face painting but had never seen
the like of my bruises. Every morning they obsessively examined and exclaimed at such
artistry, as the blue, black and yellow crept across my face.
Although they
photographed me in glorious Technicolor, I have declined a copy. Myself excluded, a
good time was had by all, and when granddaughter acquired her own bruise she was obviously
proud to follow in grandmother’s footsteps.
I have a need to laugh and joke, as quite
frankly my fall was the most horrible shock to the system and I still get flashbacks. And
when people saw my juicy black eye and sympathised about my bruised ribs, they were
reassured by jokes. It is a sad fact of later life that although tears can look quite
appealing on the young and limpid, they don’t do us any favours as we get older.
Seeing eye to eye
Still there are
other advantages. I recall a fall that happened
when I was a lot younger. Walked into the office the next day with a big black eye and
nobody said a word. Silence all round, avoidance of eye contact, no sympathy, no nothing.
I was at the time, the new girl on the block and they
didn’t know much about me. After the first embarrassment I knew what they were
thinking.
They were
thinking that I was a battered woman, that my old man duffs me up and that probably
it’s my fault for not leaving him as of course anyone in their right minds would not
hang around to be beaten up and they didn’t know what to say.
But everyone
knows that older people fall about, so black eyes attract oodles of sympathy. And
perhaps people think that the battered woman is a stereotype of the young. Are there no battered women in older relationships?
Either way, it’s one in the eye for later life!
Unhelpful Hints
 Always laugh and smile and crack jokes while lying on the
ground as it makes other people feel better.
Think deep thoughts on the
state of the nation before falling down. It makes it more worth while and sounds better in
the telling.
Do not fall over at a bus stop
after school, as the queue will be too busy texting to notice.
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Heather Redmond records a fall and makes a few pertinent observations
