| ‘Almost everyone who is alone
wants to meet someone, and how do they find them?’ he
asks. His answer is clear.
‘I tell people that dating agencies are the most logical and safest way.’  He is
aware that one of the biggest challenges is to attract more older men to enrol with an
agency. ‘There are always more older women than men. My view is that there are about
as many lonely older men who are looking, but it is difficult to get them to admit it.
They may think that’s it, I’m on my own now or they may wonder - is it right
mentally in memory of my late wife. Or they may feel they don’t know how to date a
lady. They may not have done it for a long time and they’re scared.’
The ladies, as he says, are better at social skills. ‘Some may
not even want sex, they might just want friendship.’ This
can pose a problem for men in older age groups, who may not know how to have friendship
without sex. It results, he says, in women today having a rather low opinion of men.
 He
thinks men have got to change. ‘They must learn to be more open minded, more
flexible. If you ask an older man what kind of woman he wants, he might say ‘someone
like Michelle Pfieffer’ because that’s what he thinks he ought to want. But when
you dig a bit more you find they often don’t know who they want, or they really want
someone around their own age.’
He admits that part of this lack of realism may be due to the interview and selection
process. ‘With these older men, maybe for the first time in their lives, someone is
saying to them: what sort of woman do you want? What height, what colour hair, and they
don’t know.’
Eddy does not accept the theory that the younger ‘trophy’ wife is partly
desired for her potential nursing and nurturing ability - which could be very useful in
much laterlife for an ageing husband. He reasserts that young doesn’t mean best.
‘I find that many older men with young women don’t find
happiness because they can’t keep up. I’d say that up to ten years
younger or about the same age works best. And the older women knock those youngsters into
a cocked hat. Once a man joins and realises the fabulous, gorgeous ladies we’ve got ,
they say why did we leave it so long….’
Do women lie about their age? And are they also asking for younger men?
Eddy thinks that some women do both. ‘They want men who are fit, go to the gym,
must be good dancers. Which is what men do too. Every man I speak to says ‘I’m
young for my age.’ They can’t all be. I think the best chance
of success is to be realistic, and often older people are better at that than younger
people. They’re more tolerant.’
On the other hand, older people are more experienced and can suss out the potential
very quickly. Surely that could make them more critical?
Eddy doesn’t think so. ‘In my opinion, older people are actually more
tolerant and are prepared to overlook physical imperfections and also mental ones. They
will concentrate on the positive side.’
All the agencies under Eddy’s remit are available through the internet.
 Dateline matches people
by computer and for laterlife visitors costs £99 for a year’s membership. Club
Sirius, designed for professional people, offers a more personalised service and for
laterlife visitors costs £499 a year.
If you want to know more about Dateline or Club Sirius, take a
look at our Dating and Introductions pages, where you
can even do a search to see profiles of members in your area.
Coming soon to laterlife: first-hand accounts from laterlifers on dating
agencies. If you have a story, please contact me at helen@laterlife.com
. Confidentiality will be respected.
|
The internet, according to Eddy Ankrett,
is the perfect way to meet people. ‘There’s privacy, no pressure, and people can
lose their inhibitions.’ 
