 Jill Curtis, a psychotherapist has published
a book called How to
Get Married ... Again (A Guide to Second Weddings). Published by Hodder
and Stoughton
Jill has sent us this article on Getting Married in Later Life!
below. You can visit her website at
www.familyonwards.com.
It is a tremendous step for a
man or woman who was happily married for many years to think of marrying
again after the death of a spouse. Yet, with better healthcare
and longer life expectation there are more and more ‘senior weddings.'
So if you are thinking of remarrying after a divorce or bereavement you may
be at sea about the ‘right' way to go about it. Although there is
plenty of advice for first-time young brides, if you are in an
older age bracket you will have already discovered that there is not all
that much help, leaving you uncertain about the way to proceed. You
may be anxious about ‘looking silly at our age,' about the difficulty of
‘telling our children' and you may even be concerned about ‘what people will
think about us?' ‘Will my late husband's family be upset?' and ‘Can I
have a wedding list a second time?' All these are questions which are asked
me time and again on my website www.familyonwards.com
|
|
Why should anyone be in fear of ‘looking silly?' Love can come at any age,
and who said it is only the very young who can fall in love? Most
likely a couple will be the envy of their friends; those who are intimate
with them will be delighted that they have found happiness again with each
other.
Be aware that children can be distressed by their parents' remarriage.
This can happen at any age but hopefully more mature children will be able
to cope with the situation. I heard from Barry: ‘My mother is in her
seventies and wants to marry again. She wants our children to be
bridesmaids. I think they should just slip off somewhere quietly if they
must get married, don't you?' Well, no I don't. I think it
is a charming idea to include loved grandchildren in the wedding
celebration.
Brides - of all ages - worry about their clothes. Fanny asked me ‘
What on earth can I wear? and how can I call myself a bride at sixty-nine?'
Why not? In the eyes of her future husband she will be a bride on
their wedding day. No doubt Fanny would not want to wear the full
finery of a young first-time bride, but she could look equally beautiful in
a smart suit or other ‘dressy' outfit. And I think flowers in the hair worn
by women of any age are always lovely.
So plan the day you both want, whether it is a small intimate occasion, or a
day to push the boat out. Have people around you who love you and wish
you well, make your preparations in advance, and there is no reason why you
should not have the day of your dreams.
© Jill Curtis 2003
Jill Curtis is a psychotherapist and her new book How to Get Married ...
Again (A Guide to Second Weddings) has just been published by Hodder and
Stoughton £7.99
Visit our page on
remarriage
if you haven't already seen it |
Books from Amazon
|
 |
|
Back to remarriage |
site map and site
search |
|
