Of course, I've never convinced a woman to keep her baby inside for 3 extra
months, and that's probably a very good thing. It's tough enough coaxing a
baby out of the uterus after 9 months of pregnancy. After 12 months it
would be impossible for a baby's huge head to make it's way through the
tightly stretched cervix.
So, why do I say they are born 3 months too early? I say it
because our
infants are very immature at birth. Baby horses, by comparison, are able to
run, even on their first day of life. Our newborns, on the other hand, even
need help just to burp.
Consider the first 3 months of a baby's life as the "4th trimester". That's
why our job in caring for them is to imitate the uterus. But, in order to
do that well you have to know, "What's it like inside the uterus?"
Well, first of all, it's extremely confining with very little freedom for a
babies to
move their arms around. Secondly, there's lots of jiggly motion. And,
lastly, it is very loud. Studies have shown that the sound inside the
pregnant uterus is louder than a vacuum cleaner!
Most grandparents automatically rock and embrace their crying tiny
grandchildren. It's an almost instinctive reaction to their fussing. But,
interestingly, this doesn't work by tricking babies into thinking they are
back home. It works because these sensations, when done just loud and jiggly
enough, can turn on a newly discovered baby reflex called the "calming"
reflex. The "calming"reflex is almost an automatic off-switch for a young
baby's crying!
There are 5 different ways of turning on a baby's calming reflex. They are
the "5 S's"
swaddling:
hold them tight with the arms down
side or stomach position:
the swaying and the pressure are comforting
(the back is safest for sleeping but it is not the best for calming
crying)
loud shushing: noise helps remind of being inside the uterus
swinging :
all that fine, jiggly movement again echoes prebirth experience
sucking: the ultimate comfort reflex action.
Some babies only need
one or two of the "S's" to get calm, but the fussiest babies need all "5
S's" simultaneously to switch on their calming reflex.
Of course, your new grandchild won't need these calming sensations forever
(although a little rocking and shushing can be calming even to a stressed
out adult). At birth they immediately go from enjoying them 24 hours a day
to receiving them for 8-12 hours a day. And, after 2-3 months, you can
gradually wean them off of to just a few hours a day.
Mimicking the "4th trimester" and turning on the calming reflex was exactly
what I observed the skillful grandmother doing so effectively to quiet her
tiny granddaughter down across the aisle from me. And watching her, I
knew I was observing a scene that had been repeated by
caring adults around the world since time began.
The Happiest Baby by Harvey Karp
and Nina Montee is published by Penguin, £9.99.
You can see a DVD demonstrating Harvey Karp’s approach on the web
site www.thehappiestbaby.com
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