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Whether at Earls Court or Olympia, what I
remember was the crush of people funnelled through acres of wooden
stands, some of these disguised as Mr & Mrs Britain’s living room. It
was nothing like our living room with piles of books stuck
anywhere, and a piece of someone’s wedding cake in cellophane paper
inside a sugar bowl inside the china cabinet, next to the tiny handbell
with the top half of a china lady for a handle (minus crinoline), and
last year’s calendar with some 18th century toffs in satin frock-coats,
smoking clay pipes and waving goblets at a cutie-pie serving-wench.
There was, inevitably, an Ideal Home dream kitchen presided over by a
bubbly blonde in a lace pinny demonstrating a wonder-gadget for
guillotining a hardboiled egg into dinky slices, or a chunky metal
thingumajig for turning gold-top milk into clotted cream with just a
couple of twiddles. Sadly, without blonde Miss Rumpelstiltstkin, in
our kitchen it stubbornly refused to produce more than some buttery
blobs floating in a runny mess that Mum had to rescue through a sieve to
go with the tinned peaches.
What has changed?
All the noise and heat and that snail-trailing-turning-feet-to-lead put
me off exhibition shows for life, and as I walked into The Natural Trade
Show, I knew that nothing had changed. There were the tightly-packed
stands, all three hundred of them, and there was even a Demonstration
Kitchen with its 2005 bubbly blonde, “TV diet guru Gillian McKeith”.
Gone was the hard-boiled egg, replaced by her seminar on “Amazing Algae
– Six things everyone should know”.
This show was strictly for the trade; to support and update all those
whose business is at the sharp end of selling Natural health products to
you and me. Two days of talks and seminars included: Reasoning Behind
Seasoning, or A Journey through the structure of Essential Fatty Acids
and their Downstram Metabolites.
Being outside the trade, I was safe from the hard sell and free to
explore the merits of Grapefruit Seed Extract – fighting the war
against E.coli, or Aqua Detox – “Detox the lazy way!” or even to
consider DJMT – magnetic protection for people, pets and mobile phones
from the perils of electro-pollution.
Still those old familiar names
Familiar names cropped up like old friends; Ecover or Brighton’s very
own love child Infinity Foods, (30 years old and still blooming)
or Potters of Wigan (herbal products for 200 years). By the time
I got to Stand 217 - Chefaro, (hums along with “Che Sera, sera”),
featuring Red Kooga Energise as a chewable pastille, I was
experiencing my old lead-foot syndrome.
But there before me on Stand 221 I had a vision, a towering cathedral
made - not of matchsticks - but several hundred plastic pots of
Natures Aid vitamins. I was dazzled by Ginko Biloba Extract,
Rhodiola Root, and extract of Milk Thistle. A Mission
Statement was proffered, but I must admit I was more impressed with the
edifice.
The gluten-free choice
I was impressed in a different way by a stand selling gluten-free foods
which are of serious significance to those who suffer food intolerance.
Ener-G products include a range of gluten-free breads and pastas
and some rather tasty pretzel ring (I know, because they offered
samples).
Presiding over them was a bright-eyed lady sporting a Bisto Kid hat and
a delicious middle European accent. She certainly believed in her
product and between feeding me pretzels made me realise that in spite of
my allergic response to big trade shows, I was surrounded by companies
whose products were, after all, about our well-being.
Thirty-five years ago, a tiny baby down our road almost died because his
coeliac condition was identified only when he was rushed to Great Ormond
Street. He lived, but in those days his mother had huge difficulty
tracking down gluten-free foods. So thank heavens for Ener-G and
other like products.
After the show, I walked in dazzling spring sunshine along Brighton
seafront and the salt sea-breeze tasted like champagne. Thinking what I
had left behind, I longed for the birth of the Virtual Reality
Exhibition where I could edit out Mission Statements and crowds, and let
my mind wander from stand to stand, all captured in my very own palm pod
sitting right there in the sunshine on Brighton beach.
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