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You have to sell yourself by thinking of how
your entry will appear to someone else, a complete stranger and possibly
of the opposite sex. You have to think “inside out”.
Top Tip 1 – Be honest
There is no point in describing yourself as
slim when you’re not. You can use playful but honest words, such as
“cuddly” and a flattering photo is fine, so long as it is a recent one.
But if you say you’re slim when you’re not and use a 15 year old photo,
that first drink will be the last. It is misguided to think that your
sparkling personality will overcome the disappointment of the person you
have dated. Their first impression will be that you deceitfully tricked
them. Not a good way to start a relationship of any kind.
Top Tip 2 – Use your sense of humour
Instead of saying you have a good sense of
humour (GSOH), show it. Make a witty or provocative comment. Jane Juska
recently wrote a best seller based on her lonely hearts advertisement:
“Before I turn 67 – next March – I would like to have a lot of sex with
a man I like”, she wrote, and recounts numerous and varied responses.
Would she have had as many interesting respondents had she advertised
herself as “Lady, 66, seeks man”?
Find an amusing by-line, ie ‘Serious
Browser’ – a suitable pun for the internet. Think about your
characteristics – perhaps you have short black straight hair and are
small of stature. You could describe yourself with the words,
‘poker-straight hair, short and sweet’. If in doubt, test on a friend.
But don’t try being amusing if it feels at all uncomfortable. Just be
direct, honest and clear instead, though you don’t want to give too much
away. Do state your interests, hobbies, and if you are a single parent,
say so.
Top Tip 3 – Check for wedding band marks
You really don’t know whether somebody is
married or not. Be sceptical. “Separated” may not necessarily be the
official interpretation. By reading the entire profile, with practice
you might get a fair idea. It is difficult to know for sure, but keep
your wits about you and look for tell tale signs. Especially after the
first date when people usually will drop their guard.
Top Tip 4 – Interpreting what they mean
Regardless of sex, we’re all vain. Look at
the other person’s photograph. If the profile says 53 and they look 35,
are they using an old photograph, or someone else’s? Or have they been
under the knife? When they say they’re “adventurous” what you do you
think they really mean? “Compulsive” could be manic or it could mean you
have someone happy to do the cleaning! Without being too cynical try to
understand what is being said.
Top Tip 5 – Be realistic
The internet particularly, is awash with
“left handed typists”! If someone is looking for “a date,
intimacy/physical” there was a reason they didn’t say “long term
relationship, marriage”. The reason is that it’s not what they’re
looking for and you probably won’t succeed in changing their mind if
that’s what you want.
Top Tip 6 – Personal security when you’ve fixed a date
Never give your landline number or your
address. Make your own way to and from a date and be particularly
careful about accepting lifts. Tell a friend where you are going, with
whom and which media you met them through.
Top Tip 7 – Not so great expectations
Don’t get too excited about meeting your
date. If you expect to be disappointed you may just get nice surprise.
If you are interested in meeting people and find it amusing to see
“what’s available” then you will probably have a good time. If you
expect too much you will get too little. If you are too trusting you
will be disappointed and if you are scared of the unknown, this is not
for you.
Singles who would like to attend a social event in London on Wednesday
24th August, 7 – 10pm are invited to email Sarah.Frankel@gmail.com
for an invitation.
Previous editions of this series
Edition
1 Seeking a new
partner
Edition
2 Sarah offers tips on
going to ‘singles’ social events
Edition 3 Selling
yourself on the internet, newspapers and agencies
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