Before her, my grandmother wasn’t
just economical with the truth – she made it up as she went along. After her husband’s death, she rejuvenated herself
by fifteen years, altering every document she could lay her hands on, including her
passport. Blessed with great beauty and
amazingly youthful looks, she soon had a string of admirers, all young enough to be her
children. Her only problem was explaining how she
managed to have a son aged twenty - my father. But luckily, he was at university, enabling
her to give the impression that he was a mere boy of seven away at boarding-school.
 To remain of value, desirable and attractive, women have so
many more deadlines to meet than men. Their journeys are strewn with terrifying landmarks,
both biological and social. Teetering constantly
on the brink of anachronism, it is not surprising that so many of
them are tempted to extend their sell by date, to prolong their shelf life (without
wanting to be left on it for ever).
But what’s so ironic about the whole
business of age is that after a certain point, antiquity, as it does in the wine business,
becomes something to brag about. Years, as they roll by, are seen as a defiance of death -
small intimations of immortality. ‘Bet
you can’t guess how old I am,’ old-age pensioners crow, waving their bus passes
in your face.
But heaven
help you if you get it right.
You can also take a look at previous personal views by
Harriet Ewe:
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