 I have to confess, the consolations of a virtual dog are few. He might not have doggy breath, leave hairs on your
furnishings and emasculate the postman, but he still barks, whines and scratches with all
the vigour of a psoriasis ward. And like all of us,
he has bodily functions which, while odourless, are far from silent. As he swivels round in the throes of agony and ecstasy,
Spot-the-dog produces a fanfare of sounds worthy of an over-enthusiastic brass band.
Accidents frequently happen. These are, however, quickly remedied. With the click of a button, a mop appears on the
screen and deletes the offence. I have never
tried clearing up a dog’s mess with a mop, but it can’t be a simple operation.
On other occasions, a more pressing
situation develops. Ominous spots appear on my
pet’s tongue. He is ill and in need of
immediate medical attention. Clucking and clicking,
I manage to access the bathroom and to produce a bottle of unappetising green medicine
from the cabinet. I try to force it down
Spot’s throat, but he refuses to stay still. Consumed with maternal angst, I click and click. Spot’s image is starting to disintegrate and
decrease in size. Before my horrified eyes, he
disappears altogether.
This is my first murder. I have blood on my hands.
‘Out, damned spot. Out, I say…No,
no, I didn’t mean it.’ Two days
later, I have turned into a serial killer as one cyberpet gives way to another.
 Not even in the world of the simulacrum can we rise above
death and disease. I
decide to end my interactions with Spot and his progeny before I am accused of genocide. And besides, I have come to the conclusion that
virtual reality is just as elusive, random and frustrating as the real thing. It might promise us control and the lack of existential doubt, but in no way
does it deliver them. Plus ca change, plus
c’est la meme chose.
You can also take a look at previous
personal views by Harriet Ewe:
Personal view 6 - The big lie
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