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Still, many of us wouldn’t mind at all improving our
sex lives, and there are many publications available to help us do so.
A new one that covers the ground comprehensively and knowledgeably is
Intimate Relations: living and loving in later life by Dr. Sarah
Brewer.
It is her medical descriptions of the physiological
changes that come with age that make this book more helpful than most.
One of the common causes of male sexual impotence is problems with the
prostate gland. Treatments themselves often cause side effects that lead to
erectile dysfunction (ED). But there are a variety of procedures according
to Dr. Brewer that will lessen the side effects.
 Too often, the doctor or surgeon does not explore
the sexual consequences when talking about treatment choices and many of
us are too embarrassed to ask. Foremost in any patient’s mind is how to
deal with the disease - not how it will affect your sex life.
Common physical changes for women affect sex life
and can lead to relationship difficulties. Vaginal dryness, thinning of
vaginal tissue are subjects easier to read about than discuss with a doctor.
Cystitis, an inflammation or infection of the bladder , affects as many as
one in two women at some time during their life. Dr. Brewer describes the
symptoms, explains the causes, and provides extensive advice for treatment.
On the subject of sexual positions, the good
doctor offers suggestions for those not as agile as they used to be. No
need to resign yourself to the missionary position and nothing else. She
describes positions that are especially helpful if the male has limited
mobility or strength due to illness and others that are to be avoided if
either partner has hip or knee problems.
Out from under the covers is the subject of
vibrators. Early versions were not only grotesque to look at but
anatomically not very effective for women’s needs. This is changing, and
manufacturers are looking at new ranges of vibrators – now beginning to be
referred to as vibes –which are specifically designed to appeal to women.
One such range, which has been designed for women by women, has been
endorsed by Relate –the couples counselling charity.
Vibrators can provide pleasure and release for many
older women who are no longer in an intimate relationship or who have
never have had a long-term relationship. Masturbation (or self-pleasuring)
is a normal activity that most adults enjoy on a regular basis. Don’t feel
guilty about this, Dr Brewer says. It is important to help you cope with
your natural sexual desires
Discussing a relationship or sexual problem can
be difficult and embarrassing for many people, even with a long-time
partner. Dr. Brewer devotes a chapter to improving communications. For
many, just reading Dr. Brewer’s book will be as much as you need to refresh
a loving relationship
Intimate Relations: living and loving in later
life, by Dr. Sarah Brewer MA MB Bchir. Published by Age
Concern Books. Available from all good bookshops, or by contacting Age
Concern Books on 0870 44 22 120, address PO Box 232, Newton Abbot , Devon ,
TQ12 4XQ. £9.99 plus £1.95 p&p.
Or order on line at
www.ageconcern.org.uk/shop
SEX AND THE OLDER PERSON
Some of the statistics…
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Nearly two-thirds of older
people felt that sex was just as good as when they were younger, while
one-third reported that sex was even better. One thing that might suggest
this is that we are older and feel more comfortable with ourselves as well
as our partners, and that we have a greater understanding of sex.
- A woman of 80 has the same potential for an orgasm as she did when she
was 20.
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30 per cent have sexual
relations three times a week.
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20 per cent report sexual
relations twice a week.
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Sex needs love trust
approval and warmth these are the same needs and desires for every age.
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A staggering 99 per cent
desire sexual relationships at a varying frequency if they could have sex
whenever they wanted to.
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Everything
you want to know about sex in laterlife
