Don’t kid yourself - you are older than you feel
Ask someone over 50 how old they
feel, and the standard answer is 21, or maybe 17 if they’re really not thinking.
‘I’m
as old as I feel, and I don’t feel old,’ is what we’re telling ourselves.
There are some impelling reasons for
thinking like this, the main one being that we don’t know what feeling old is like
before we experience it, whether the age is 50, 60, 70 or more. And we’re not too sure after we’ve experienced
it either.
‘Old’ is always someone else, a point
illustrated by my mother-in-law when she went into a residential home at the age of
80-something. ‘They’re all so old
here,’ she said, observing a population age range of 70 to 100.
‘Old’
seems to be defined by the eye of the beholder, not the person experiencing it. No wonder we never really know what being old is for
ourselves.
Any of us, young and old, have no
problem in describing other people as ‘old’. We
do it all the time, and the result is a form of stereotyping. No one likes being pigeon-holed or stereotyped, it
strips us of our individuality. That’s why we
object to newspaper descriptions of ‘pensioner’ or ‘silver-haired
grandmother’. We don’t see ourselves in
these terms.
And yet, young is different from old (meaning for the purpose of this column,
50-plus). First love, first holidays in exotic
places, first discovery of any kind bring a never-to-be-repeated excitement. Enthusiasms are tempered by experience as we get older. Energy levels are not the same - clubbing till dawn
seems peculiarly unattractive after a certain age. Intensity
and idealism can appear close to fanaticism when viewed from the tolerant distances of
mid-life.
On a more mundane level, getting
older seems to be about trading in the hectic for the moderate lifestyle, often whether we
like it or not: alcohol and food intake, work
schedule, social life tend to be taken more slowly.
 There are enormous rewards in being 50-plus, as long
as we remain in good health. Olive Braman
describes her life in retirement as a Snowbird in
this July edition of laterlife. When I asked
various people what they enjoyed most about being older, I got an enormous variety of
replies - including getting away on holiday more often, having grandchildren, more
rewarding relationships with the grown-up children, better appreciation of partner,
pleasures of being with very old friends, gardening, enjoying nature more than previously.
If there are any aspects of growing
older joyfully that you would like to share, do email me;
helen@laterlife.com
This laterlife.....
Did you notice? Yes,
of course you did… Top performers at the Jubilee pop concert last month were Tony
Bennett, Shirley Bassey, Paul Macartney, Cliff Richard etc etc - all way way past their 50th
birthdays.
Women may age faster if they live in high altitudes.
Scientists in Peru are reported to be saying that danger zones are between 490ft and
13,000 ft above sea level. That’s where women were found to have lower concentrations
of certain sex and adrenal hormones which influence ageing in women. So much for Shangri La and other legends in which
staying young goes with the high altitude.
Vera Armstrong of Camden in London has won an
award for her dedication to the 8th Holborn Scouts Group which provides
activities for youngsters in the Holborn and Kings Cross area. Vera is 82
Got any contributions to THAT’S later LIFE? Send them to Helen@laterlife.com
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