Differences
Between Friends
 The country and the
Government is divided about war with
Iraq. So are individuals, and the differences
of opinion can cause family rifts and enmity between couples.
A friend recently planning a family birthday party
ordered an edict: no talk about politics. She knew that her son-in-law leaned fervently in
one direction, she in another, and her sister (the birthday girl) had yet a different
view.
As someone who loves
an argument, I thought at first that she was being a bit of a spoilsport. Surely one of the things about getting older is
that we also get more mature, and can tolerate the views of others, no matter how strongly
we feel? And shouldn’t we be brave and
have the courage of our convictions?
But on reflection, I decided she was probably right. There are times when it’s best to be
restrained. Ideally, we should be able to
listen to others and to debate in a civilised manner, but maturity also means knowing
oneself and knowing the weaknesses we all possess. Debates
can quickly become debased. I may love to
argue, but I don’t love the unsettled feelings that come with a quarrel, whether I am
in the right or not.
One thing that
happens in times of political tension, is that we tend to think we know the views of most
of our close friends and family. After all,
friends are chosen for their compatibility and like-mindedness and family we’ve known
for a very long time. But sometimes there are
surprises.
Not long ago we
were with a couple from Israel. Most of the
evening was spent discussing holidays and other non-controversial matter. I was dying to
talk about politics. Though I guessed that
their views would be different to mine, I wanted to know what it was like to live in a
constant state of emergency. I didn’t
find a way until we’d got to the coffee stage.
The moment I brought
the subject up, the wife went off to the toilet. Her
husband said quietly, ‘We don’t
agree on this’ and went on to demonstrate briefly that his view was more similar to
ours.
I suddenly got a glimpse of the pain they were both
experiencing and changed the subject. Sometimes
it’s best to stick to watching the debate on television.
Easter is
coming…
…and you will want to know what the weather is
like before putting on Easter bonnets and
enjoying the great outdoors. Check the latest
forecasts with the following:
www.met-office.gov.uk
www.onlineweather.com
www.weather.co.uk
www.bbc.co.uk/weather/
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Talkback is a regular
feature in laterlife.com run by journalist and author Helen Franks. 
