Where does the time go?
The other day I did something extremely
irritating. I double-booked on an evening when a friend had got tickets for
the opera and had to cancel. She was understandably cross, and in a moment
of exasperation said of my crowded diary, ‘Why don’t you just say no?’
Why indeed? I checked over my diary for the
first four months of this year and commitments for the next two months:
three weddings and a memorial service, a couple of milestone birthdays,
a lunch for my sister’s family to get together with my family (11
grandchildren included), four days looking after some of the grandchildren
as a gift to their parents, visits to a sick relative, weekends in the
country with and without friends, the annual residents’ association
barbecue, an idyllic garden party held every two years in June, some dinner
parties, cinema, theatre and, yes, opera.
Looking to the next two or three months, I
see that every weekend is already booked, and only a small part is due to a
planned fortnight’s holiday abroad.
Saying no didn’t seem a great option for a large
number of those engagements.
And then I thought about why the diary is so
crowded, and checked out with some friends at a similar stage in life with
similarly crowded diaries.
It doesn’t take a genius to understand what’s
going on. For a start, in later life it’s easy to have accumulated
various circles of friends, both personal and professional. We are all
living longer, so there are more of us around to remain in contact
with. Secondly, some are divorcing and remarrying or buying new homes
together, or down-sizing, adding up to more invitations to weddings or
housewarming parties. Within these circles, people are also reaching
milestone birthdays requiring large-scale celebrations.
And so to our children, who are also reaching
milestone birthdays that require large-scale celebrations. Some of the
younger generation are marrying or remarrying or buying new homes together.
One of the three younger-generation weddings we’re going to involves a
couple embarking on their second marriage. Grandchildren’s birthdays lead to
family gatherings or family outings. Stepchildren lead to yet more extended
groupings. In-laws too. No wonder the diary is full.
I’m not grumbling. In fact, the fifties,
sixties and seventies are a rich time of life, when friends are strong
and families are expanding. Not everyone is fortunate to have this kind of
network, and I feel privileged to do so, and to be fit and well enough to
enjoy the experience. Precious times.
PS The friend with the opera tickets
forgot and forgave. But I do have to be more meticulous with the diary from
now on.
Talkback is a regular
feature in laterlife.com run by journalist and author Helen Franks. 
