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Doing Things for Others
When my daughter joined VSO to teach abroad (in Sierra Leone),
we discussed with her why she was doing it. ‘It’s not that I want to
change the world or even make a sacrifice,’ she said, ‘I think that
really I am doing it for myself, though I am also wanting to help
others.’
It is probably the best reason. The idea of Lady Charitable,
virtuously (and patronisingly) doling out favours to the lower
orders, is way out of date. Better to admit self-interest than kid
yourself that you are superior in some way to the people whom you
are helping.
There is an enormous satisfaction in helping other people.
Nurses, doctors, social workers, teachers are all part of a breed of
philanthropists, though they are professionals and get paid a
salary. Voluntary work is an extension of this, and a significant
one, since it involves giving up precious time with little or no
payment.
I have always done some kind of voluntary work and there have
been two areas of interest. One, obviously, was where I could offer
my particular skills as a writer – so I have advised voluntary
organisations on how to get publicity and have also written
newsletters for some of them.
My other choice was to enter into a world that was quite
different to my own. So I became a Lay Visitor, visiting police
stations unannounced with another volunteer in the scheme. And after
doing that for a few years, I trained with Victim Support to visit
people who were victims of some of the crimes committed by the
‘detainees’ as we called them, who we came across in our visits to
the police stations.
I learned to have a real respect for the police, witnessing
their patience and – sometimes – their youthful innocence, when they
were at a loss over what to do. Once, for instance, a young man was
verbally abusing the police, having been brought in for drunkenness.
We talked to him and discovered that he was shivering, having lost
his coat in the fracas when taken into custody. We were instrumental
in getting coat and detainee united, and this small achievement gave
us enormous satisfaction (and much gratitude from the police
officers).
Of course there were awful ones too, and we would hang about at
police stations for hours if we suspected that a detainee might be
abused by one or two ‘bad apples’.
And so to this month’s challenge – Doing Things for Others.
Here’s one that offers advice from personal experience:
‘I have signed up with Young Enterprise as a Volunteer Advisor.
Young Enterprise is a scheme that provides young adults with the
opportunity to run a business venture. A real business albeit under
the umbrella of the Charity rather than Companies House and the tax
men. The role of the business advisor is much like that of a
non-executive director. It's great fun to watch the learning that
goes on and to be able to share some of my own insights and battle
scars.’
Life begins at 68 for someone who ‘went to Chile to build
houses for poor people as part of volunteer scheme.’
Here’s one that echoes my daughter’s philosophy: ‘There’s a
club for disabled people near us, and they ask people to go there
and just help them out with their various disabilities so as they
can have a good time and not have to worry about anything. That way
I can keep busy too and not get bored.’
And compassion is also present. ‘ I also do the Romanian
Orphanage Shoebox Appeal, and I spent time during the year filling
shoeboxes with presents, even if it's just simple little things, so
as they have something to open at Christmas, as it saddens me to
know they have nothing’.
I really liked this one, being a good compromise: ‘Because I
want to travel, now I have the time, I decided not to have a new dog
when my old one died 2 years ago, so instead I walk stray dogs at a
rehoming centre once a week.’
Time is also liberating for this ‘born again’ motorcyclist.
‘Since retiring, I've become a volunteer ranger in the South
Pennines, monitoring the impact of the new access legislation on
wildlife and the environment. And, having been a 'born again'
motorcyclist for some years, this year I'm taking part in a ride to
Kiev to raise money for a centre there for children with
disabilities and their families. It's great to have the time now to
do all these things!’
It’s all great stuff. And if inspiration evades you, Cancer
Research UK has launched a new project with on-line befriending (see
more in this later life). The charity plans to recruit more e-befrienders
next year, depending on the success of this test period. So if you
are interested in becoming an e-befriender in the future, email
ebefriending@cancer.org.uk .
Find out more about this month’s
Doing Things for
Others Challenge
Previous Challenge Talkbacks
Reinventing retirement
How not to go doo-lally in later life
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Talkback is a
regular feature in laterlife.com run by
journalist and author Helen Franks. 
